Genuine

So life can take you some funny places, I got kind of lost in my own head the past few months, thus no more posts after the first one. I went from being single to in a relationship and back to single, oh god I'm talking in Facebook. Anyway, bit of heart break it turns out is good for you, it helps you turn over a new leaf, makes you that little bit better at defining yourself. So as part of my new leaf I'm going to get better at posting.

Its been a week since my break up, I won't lie, it killed me at first, was pretty much a fountain for three days, but then it got easier, I kept busy and made a plan, I'm going to shed about a stone, I got a hair cut and I am going to get the grades I want next semester, no more letting myself down, because really thats the only person we let down by the time we get to college, a degree is for ourselves, not anyone else. So I'm finally getting my ass in gear, getting happy about my body and getting the degree I want.

Ever have one of those friends who is just manipulative and always tries to keep you guessing? Your never quite sure they want you around and make you feel inferior, I have one of those, we were really close when we were younger but college changed him so much and now everything he does just seems planned, nothing is real or true, everything is meant to make you feel a certain way and evoke a certain response and then he gives out about you because you "over react" or are "attention seeking". I'm sick of people who aren't real or genuine and just try to manipulate every situation. I want my friends to be real with me and want me around not to feel the need to control me and make me feel inferior to make themselves feel good. People need to grow up and get over themselves and stop thinking they are better then others.

Bisous

1

Dear Blog,
       Im writting to you as a way of documenting my rather haphazard and random life. I dont lead a particulatly exciting or interesting life, but I believe in making the most of all situations. That said, I've recently failed to have no regrets, the one rule I attempt to live my life by, so I have decided to give myself a fresh start and I thought that documenting this in letters to you would help me be totally honest with myself about who I am and what I want, and maybe teach me a little about myself along the way.
       I should probably start by introducing myself, but as these letters are going to be annonomous I'm afraid I will have to be rather vague. I'm a college student, I'm single, I can drive, I'm of average height and weight. In other words my basic description is similar to that of many many girls, and there in lies the beauty of this plan, I live a normal life, hopefully one you can identify with.
       I shall try and keep these letters as frequent as possible, some will be addressed to the world at large and some will be addressed to individuals. Hopefully this little project will help guide me through the bewildering years of becoming an adult and will teach me a little about myself, as no one can teach you more about yourself then you can, after all who knows you better?

Bisous,

Yours Truly